Ascension

thegoodazzkid

I’m either not fine or too alright,

I only know I can’t sleep at night. 

Terrors in the dark,

Fear roots deep in our hearts.

Tried to tell my pops we already live in Hell,

Woke up to the news, more people killed.

I only wish this all wasn’t real,

It’s all too real and I feel too much. 

If I spend a life seeking change, 

What am I called when i refuse to change?

20 years attempting to manage the pain,

Praying I can harness the rage. 

Demons walk among man,

Tormenting voices in the dead silence. 

Spent years running from a ghost

Just to find I can’t escape the past,

In every breath my lungs collapse,

Filled with water, internal drowning,

Paint a picture with purple:

My blood runs right through,

All which was once pure is stained. 

Holy angels fall like stars. 

 

Too many thoughts bum rushing my head,

Young kid from the Bronx who could blame me 

If all I ever wanted was monetary gain?

Surrounded by two sides,

Too much hate they’re all the same you’ll find. 

I’m still tryna find Christ:

Too many that claim him would crucify him a second time if he stepped in the room,

Damn how the hell did we get like this? 

And if Satan was the greatest angel,

Is there any hope for us? 

Fighting over guns and healthcare,

How the fuck are you for life and hate my people? 

Just tell me are you more like your god

When you take life or create it? 

Ready to bomb a nation of 25 million, 

No fucking wonder you won’t spare a dime to feed the children. 

If you’re a mirror of your god 

I want nothing to do with him, 

If my morality places me above your deity,

Let it be, imma grab a bit of Henny 

And drown anyway,

I ain’t got no answers,

This is just a call to common decency. 

 

I ain’t been the same since me and Sel stopped talking,

You could say I changed in a spiritual way, 

I don’t know if I’m transcending

Or descending into deeper darkness. 

Perspective shift like when I first got glasses, 

Seeing clearly,

I don’t think this ends soon. 

Look into your mind but be careful what you’ll find,

I think I’m the same as everything I hate,

Living manifestation of what I fear. 

Fighting off depression,

Like my money it must be recession. 

Heartbroken with my worlds condition,

But I’m 21, barely got a pot to piss in, 

Is this any way to make a difference? 

No answers, just more searching, 

We lost our way,

Overlords keeping us fighting,

But if we’re all broken, 

What if I could die for you?

  • Author: thegoodazzkid (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 11th, 2018 18:27
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 16
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Comments1

  • Rainbow

    such a deep poem. I can relate to some of the pain you write in this, the fear and depression and the terror, as I have experienced things that have felt like they have scarred me mentally.
    And if only the world was a nicer place the state of the world also makes me sad



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