Late

I can't believe it,
I've only just realised,
I'm three weeks late,
Why am I so surprised?

Oh when was it?
When could it have been?
Think, think!
Who have I seen?

But I always use condoms,
I'm really sure that they do,
Yes, yes, I can trust them?
Oh I think I need a review.

Well it can't be Charlie,
I know that for sure,
He only gets a blow job,
I don't think anything more!

Oh and it can't be Johnny,
Not with his specialty,
Always wants to pull it out,
And spray it all over me!

Wait, wait!
What about big, big Pierre?
No, I know where that ended,
You don't get pregnant there!

So, what about Chris?
He could be a contender,
But his condom was blue,
Yes, that I do remember!

Right, that leaves Willie,
Or is that right?
I'm sure he was a gentleman,
And we just cuddled all night!

Oh no! No! NO!
How could I forget?
When I ran out of money,
Oh! I'm really gonna regret!

Shit! in the Fake Taxi,
I didn't have the fee,
I let the randy old driver,
Have his dirty way with me!

Oh my God!
I don't even know his name!
He did me so good,
But can I handle the shame?

The father of my child,
Is more than twice my age,
He picks up young women,
As a supplement to his wage!

Quick, quick!
Let me take that test,
What is it? What is it?
................
Oh My God! NEGATIVE!
I'm blessed!

Now where's that voddy?