Comments received on poems by 15EHilton
Toy Soldier
orchidee said:
To try to say a bit more, as well as \'fine/good write, etc, here are a couple of things - not that I am professional!
* Good use of repeat words without over-doing the repetition, of \'toy\', \'gone\', etc.
* A good metaphor of \'toys\', used literally, and then personified as a person.
* Explains how people can use others as toys or \'things\', or as if people are just \'numbers\' or \'labels\'.
June 6th, 2018 01:40
orchidee said:
To try to say a bit more, as well as \'fine/good write, etc, here are a couple of things - not that I am professional!
* Good use of repeat words without over-doing the repetition, of \'toy\', \'gone\', etc.
* A good metaphor of \'toys\', used literally, and then personified as a person.
* Explains how people can use others as toys or \'things\', or as if people are just \'numbers\' or \'labels\'.
June 6th, 2018 01:40
Toy Soldier
Kurt Philip Behm said:
Wonderful! You have captured the two things I always look for—a strong beginning and end.
The way you layer the middle stanzas is masterful.
Thanks for inviting me to read. I\'m glad I did.
Kurt
June 6th, 2018 01:05
Kurt Philip Behm said:
Wonderful! You have captured the two things I always look for—a strong beginning and end.
The way you layer the middle stanzas is masterful.
Thanks for inviting me to read. I\'m glad I did.
Kurt
June 6th, 2018 01:05
Toy Soldier
blank_voice said:
Wow that took a turn, good flow though. Sad story behind it. Beautiful write, sure to pass the exams with that!
June 5th, 2018 17:47
blank_voice said:
Wow that took a turn, good flow though. Sad story behind it. Beautiful write, sure to pass the exams with that!
June 5th, 2018 17:47
