I hate men

Cole Porter

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I hate men.
I can’t abide ‘em even now and then.
Than ever marry one of them, I’d rest a virgin rather,
For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother.
Of course, I’m awfly glad that Mother had to marry Father.
But I hate men.
I hate ‘em all, from modern man ‘way back to Father Adam,
He sired Cain and Abel though the Lord above forbade ‘em,
I’d hate both Cain and Abel though Betty Grable had ‘em,
Oh, I hate men!
I hate men.
They should be kept like piggies in a pen,
You may be wooed by Jack the Tar, so charming and so chipper,
But if you take him for a mate, be sure that you’re the skipper,
For Jack the Tar can go too far. Remember Jack the Ripper?
Oh, I hate men.
Of all the types I’ve ever met within our democracy,
I hate the most the athlete, with his manner bold and brassy,
He may have hair upon his chest, but, sister, so has Lassie.
Oh, I hate men!
I hate men.
Their worth upon this earth I dinna ken.
Avoid the trav’ling salesman though a tempting Tom he may be,
From China he will bring you jade and perfume from Araby,
But don’t forget ‘tis he who’ll have the fun and thee the baby,
Oh, I hate men.
If thou shouldst wed a business man, be way, oh, be wary.
He’ll tell you he’s detained in town on business necessary,
His bus’ness is the bus’ness which he gives his secretary,
Oh, I hate men!
I hate men.
Though roosters they, I will not play the hen.
If you espouse an older man through girlish optimism,
He’ll always stay at home at night and make no criticism,
Though you may call it love, the doctors call it rheumatism.
Oh, I hate men.
From all I’ve read, alone in bed, from A to Zed, about ‘em.
Since love is blind, then from the mind, all womankind should rout‘em,
But, ladies, you must answer too, what would we do without ‘em?
Still, I hate men!

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