Why am I so frightened
To say I'm me
And publicly acknowledge
My small mastery?
Waiting for sixty years
Till the people take out the horses
And draw me to the theatre
With triumphant voices?
I know this won't happen
Until it's too late
And the deed done (or not done)
So I prevaricate, Egging
them on and keeping
Roads open (just in case)
Go on! Go on and do it
In my place!
Giving love to get it
(The only way to behave).
But hated and naked
Could I stand up and say
Fuck off! or, Be my slave!
To be in a very unfeminine
Very unloving state
Is the desperate need
Of anyone trying to write.
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Comments2Elizabeth Smart's poem "Trying To Write" really resonated with me, especially the line "To be in a very unfeminine, Very unloving state Is the desperate need Of anyone trying to write." It beautifully captures the struggle of self-expression and the courage required to reveal oneself through writing.
Really touched me when I read this years back. "To be in a very unfeminine, Very unloving state" still hits hard, speaks to the struggle of self-expression.