I don’t even love myself

lottierose

It’s such a mind boggling idea, that someone could ever love Me.

I don’t even love myself.

Its not that I don’t want to , I long to find love for myself. 

To look in a mirror and not feel down; not feel drowned.

But I’m not comfortable with the body I breathe in. 

Because I measure myself up to everyone else as if we are all in a competition.

one great societal expectation of a competition.

I think I’ve lost myself again...

It does it not matter how many times you tell me I’m beautiful. The words drown in my view. Because to me I’m a nothing , I will always be nothing.

They tell you to be happy you must love yourself.

I can’t find the courage to do so. Because loving yourself means accepting your flaws and I’m not ready to do that.

so I continue to cover them up , continue to diet . Because even though I know loosing weight or dying your hair gives temporary fulfilment , it’s all I can manage.

I dont even love myself.

  • Author: lottierose (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 30th, 2018 06:09
  • Comment from author about the poem: I’ve always had issue with self confidence:/
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 24
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Comments1

  • Lorna

    Love as many people as you can - that's good to do. But start to realize that there really isn't anyone 'out there' who is "better" than you. Even if they are all shiny on the outside. Once you figure that out (and it takes time) you will find you are perfectly wonderful (as long as you're not a serial killer or something)...... write lots of poems and then one day sit down and read them all back and you will see yourself and like what you see!

    • lottierose

      Thanks that’s some great advice xx



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