Death Has Always Been A Terrifying Thought To Me

Death has always been a terrifying thought to me
Especially when I was younger as I gripped on tightly to the thoughts of lackless frailty and invincibility
Thinking that everyone was going to die someday,
it made my stomach twist and turn
I wasn't ready to accept my inevitable fate and that's a positive thing
As a child, I probably shouldn't have

Now I'm nineteen, and the death of a girl I used to know, talked to, and see as I walked those high school halls
Has shaken me to the core
Remembering how fragile life is
Old thoughts and fears quickly rule the entirety of my mind
I couldn't stop thinking of her
How her life ended much too long before her time
Life is unfair and I started to reach out for an anchor to hold me down
Anchors don't exist,
though in my time of gut whrenching greif I realized a few things

Life can be so beautiful,
and the ones I love have opened my eyes
I don't know what they intended,
but I'm not scared of death anymore
That's a possibly positive thing
That I can think of staring into the eyes of death, and be okay with it
Or possibly it's a negative thing
I'm young, maybe I shouldn't be
There's no going back now