The Last Fight

our love is falling apart.

we no longer appreciate each others love.

we keep fighting...

youve threatened to break up with me if i didnt have sex with you!!!

you keep bringing up the fact its been 5 months together june 25th and i havent had sex with you yet.

youve gotten so jealous within the last month.

your driving me to do things i didnt want to do again...

for example fall out of our love and maybe into a new one.

you know what happened to me...

i got dizzy and everything felt like it was spinning and my eyes werent dilating like they shouldve been.

my new bestfriend told me i was too stressed over all the shit i was going through with him..

and i just couldnt handle it mentally anymore..

so it started to display my stress through the real world.

my sister thinks my blood sugar was low but i dont know.

i dont think its a coincidence that this happened during a fight with my boyfriend.

we went to "i love yous" to "love yas" to "luv u's" 

i told you no more bullshit!

i told you the last fight is going to be the last fight but yet you started to pick another one..

but yet it wasnt a fight all you did was try to break up with me...

and like ive done all my life in the past i fought to stay together...

but im alot wiser now before i could see the red flags but i didnt process them..

and when things got toxic..

i just thought itll get better.

then i started to become blind to the processing of red flags and when to let go and to know when things are toxic.

and now ive become alot more wiser since then.

ive gotten wiser within the last 6 months and im processing and accepting and acknowledging when things are getting toxic..

and im fully aware things are getting a little to toxic and that the next time you try to break up with me will be the last time you ever try to break up with me.

and no i dont mean commitment is coming..

i mean im letting go.

yes we will have our differences and disagreements but the last fight will be the last.

i have so many things to say and express..

but there is only limited amounts of trees to make paper and graphite to make the lead i write with within the pencil i use.