fuck the feelings

Fuck the feelings

I climbed the ladder to the top

now I’ve hit rock bottom and fucked it all up

sometimes I wish id die so I could stop breathing

because right now I cant be dealing.

Look after him look after her

And loving them is an impossible dare

you protected her so much you near ended up in a cell

Yet I’m still there through heaven and hell

And as for him he’s a mess

Let me down more times than I’m willing to confess

He’s here now though that’s what counts

No ones bailing out or off to bounce

I just need a break I need time to stop

Cause I’m sitting cleaning these tears up with a mop

Yeah cry me a river tell me how you feel

Just give it time cause surely it’ll heal

I’m sitting here pulling off the perfect cover

Smiling pulling back the tears from my mother

You sit and argue every second of every day

And I get pushed back cause fuck what I’ve to say

And my father so determined to be the man

Big lad aye? Go fuck off keep your 12 grand.

Square up to me see what fucking happens

Ill beat you again and leave the world clapping

And to my little brother my rock and stone

I promise you ill never leave you alone

And I’ve got your back, you’ve my support

Don’t listen to them. Ill never cut you short.

And to my great granny you inspirational being

You opened my eyes up and I’m grateful for seeing

And I know your slipping away tied to that oxygen tank

You told me not to cry but my heart was already sank

And I’m sitting here righting verse after verse

And I don’t know if its helping or if its my curse

Shut my eyes to stop the tears

Got to be strong help all my peers

Build myself up wall after wall

Look at me so afraid to fall

But how can you fall if your on the ground

Look how isolated you are there’s no one around

All those walls keeping everyone out

Its for the better gives me space to scream and shout

Helping everyone putting everyone first

Cause I’m already sitting at my fucking worse

So go on life hit me with all you’ve got

I’m still standing I assume you haven’t forgot

Attack me see if I care

I’m already pulled apart what’s left to spare

I’m so sick of this feeling say a fucking prayer

Cause I’ve held my breath and I’m releasing all the air.