My ruins

I sit among my ancient ruins 

And curse in stupid 

In which I’m fluent 

I wonder why I left my castle to crumble 

And the thunder rumbles 

Warning me to get out of here

But I stay 

I’m throwing rocks against a hollow wall

Just so I can watch it fall

It crushes all my hopes and dreams

And everything that I believed was real

I bang my head against the pillars until my headache becomes killer cause 

There’s really nothing left for me to save

I find the cigarette butts tossed into a tray of ashes 

I can’t help but stare and keep on laughing 

I’m going insane 

I left my brain on top of a skid 

I killed off my childhood memories 

I used to be a happy kid

The lighting strikes the pole outside my broken towers 

I stand and watch them collapse for hours 

It’s getting cold but I just let it go 

I’m surrounded by the tempest and I let it fill my empty chest 

My ancient ruins keep on crumbling but I ain’t running 

More water is leaking through the ceiling again 

And I can feel the water dripping on my head 

It’s kind of refreshing and I try catching drops for me to quench 

And every breath I take reminds me of what I did to them 

I remember that I sat and watch them all die off 

I remember that I let myself give up too much 

And I spend my life in fear because I don’t like being judged 

And all the tiny voices that told me to keep going 

I let them kill themselves and played their death scenes at a 6 o’clock showing 

The storm got stronger and I pondered what I was living for 

The people fled afraid to lose their homes and more 

But I just sat there in my ancient ruins 

Securing my grudges to keep my ceiling from hitting the floor 

The people tried to save me but I made the choice to let them be ignored 

They tried to drag me out as tears filled up my eyes 

I screamed for them to leave me and to let me die 

I was immovable and impossible to convince to move out of the storms way

So I’m sitting in my ancient ruins waiting for the storm to take me away 

Which is almost useless because I’ve already done that to myself 

I’ve created my own personal hell

I watch my ceiling drop in front of my knees 

And accept the fact that it’s too late for me

And when I’ve dug my grave deep enough for the inner core to see

I climb right in and let the floods slowly drown me