Aching Heart

Felt like yesterday

the day before the birthday

where we talked with small words

back and forth

until one couldn't bare it

you who said

''we are stuck together''

would be the one

to fall first

what kind of love is that

I who was ready to fall

and

stay to the end

got meet with tears and scream

all i asked for was to stay

I don't care if it hurts

because leaving hurts more

it hurts even more when its from you

who decided to stop believing

in the tomorrow we thought about yesterday

with the pinkies to pinkies

saying the words like a rhythm 

going back and forth in our hearts

those words we said that we would be together

no matter what in the end

but you decided to leave

because you didn't want hurt me

you leaving hurt me more

it wounded me permanently

like a flashback that gets played on replay

why did you jus not say

yes to staying

and

give me that smile

that laugh

the laugh that liked my stupid jokes

but I'll guess is time I'll move on

because that is what you wanted

instead of helping me fixing the wounds

you said you created

wounds I never had until now

visions and dreams that just makes my

heart ache

more and more

for every breath I take

you said you were the toxic

in this relationship

I guess you were

because you were the drug

that got caught in my lungs

like a butterfly getting caught with a flower

in mind

but please don't come back

I don't need another cruel faith

I don't need a change of mind

you had your chance

and

you made this permanent

so now I'll walk on this earth

without an ambition

without an motivation

without the strength

who kept me happy

who kept me strong

who kept me close

who listened to every word

and

meaning I could say

but I'll just lie to my heart

that is aching for her

that I'll be alright

just like the words she said

''You will understand''

when I don't really understand

my heart will keep saying

''Is you who will understand''

because I am not really the one

that needs time is her

because I'll just go on with my life

like I have done before

because that is the cruel reality

that my mind have made me accept

that people will stay and go

or another word for

there will be times with people

or

there will be times alone

and

I am alone

with no one to talk to

so I'll be leaving

with two meanings in heart

''I cared for us both''

''not only one of us''

so with this

few words in mind

I'll just be ready for the next stop

because my chapter has moved on

to a new one

because now I'm a new age

with some new knowledge

meaning is time I let go

and

finally move on