Losing Control

Screaming till my lungs give out

Crying till the tears run dry

Finding ways to relieve the pain

I am losing control

 

Pleading with my emotions to be calm

Scratching deep until I’m feeling numb

Scissors, fingernails, and sharp wooden dowels

Contribute to my loss of control

 

Pills that never seem to help

Sleep is hardly an escape

Restless nights of fighting consciousness

I’m not in control

 

But I’ll hide it behind a mask

And I’ll plaster on a smile

Make sure to walk the extra mile

To fake being in control