Cynthia

I'm Sorry

Sorry mom

For being a disappointment

I'm sorry sister

for embarrassing you at school

I'm sorry brother

Being as ugly as I am

All your friends laugh at me

They tell you they are sorry that you are related to me

You laugh

Anxiety claws up my throat

I feel so self-conscious

The cuts on my wrists ache

I bend with every blow people send my way

Telling me I'm not good enough

 

But I will stand my ground

I am tired of being pushed around

I can't take this anymore
You think this is a joke but it is not

Everyday I live with the fact that I AM a disappointment

I cut myself to relieve my pain but it only causes more

I can't breathe when people talk about me

When I walk through the high school halls it feels like everyone is judging me

 

Depression sets in

You think I'm looking for attention

But I'm really not

It gets cold in here

I scream at you to help me but you don't listen

I am drowning in all of this

Anxiety

Depression

Everything

You just look at me, smile, and say I'll be okay

that it is just a phase

It's not

I drown in sorrow everyday

No one to help me

I am broken

 

I am sorry

I'm so so sorry

I'm sorry I'm not good enough

I'm sorry I screw up

I'm sorry I'm human

I'm sorry

Comments1

  • Sugiura Asuna

    First and foremost, beauty is an opinion, it changes and fades over time.
    Mistakes are things to be learned from and rarely to be apologized for. Depression, suicide, cutting, or any form of self-harm is never a joking matter. As someone who doesn't have an emotional/mental support system at home, I understand how frustrating, tiring, and how soul-crushing it can be when someone doesn't believe you.
    I won't say I'm sorry for you, its a phrase overused, and it never fully expands upon how a person feels. Instead, I sympathize with you and hope you find the support you need. Ps. just from the top half of your face, YOU ARE GORGEOUS girl, got it, and don't ever forget it.

    • Cynthia

      thank you very much

      • Sugiura Asuna

        There's no need to thank me, you did all the work. Your poem is absolutely beautiful.



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