The Retired Bloke

The Daily Commute

The alarm bell rings

Awoken from a broken sleep

I slap it on snooze

Another nine minutes

Counting down the seconds

To the second chime

A little whine

One foot at a time

Eventually I’m out of bed

Slowly I shuffle to the bathroom

Shit, shower and shave

A look in the mirror

God my head does hurt

Have I got an ironed shirt?

Two socks that match?

Now where’s my wallet and watch?

Have I time for breakfast?

Look at the clock

Late again miss my All-Bran

Get to the car all frozen over

Where did I put my bloody de-icer?

Fingers freezing I pray 

Car will start again today

Queue at the junction 

Old man being very cautious

No breakfast inside me

Feeling rather nauseous 

Traffic creeping crawling slowly

Getting nowhere fast

Radio on listening to Kylie

Time ticks on now getting in a stew

I hear there’s another accident

On the bloody M62!

I look again at the clock on the dash

“Oh no”I bawl

I’ve missed my early morning

Conference call!

Can things get any worse

Get stuck try to reverse

There’s no way out

Will have to stick it out!

Thank god we’re moving

Playing lane lottery

Always the one in the wrong ‘un 

Fingers tapping rather jittery

Surely this nightmare will end

On arriving at work I try to defend

To my boss why I’m late

He won’t allow any debate

“Get up earlier” he commands

Can’t make him understand

The world was against me

On this the worst pursuit

The trials and tribulations

Of the daily commute. 
















  • orchidee

    Is it any worse if commuting by train? I got caught in rush hour trains recently. Couldn't be helped. I would hate daily commuting.

  • Lorna

    Dark days indeed!!!! I've retired a year now and find I am waking earlier (and easier) now that I don't have to go anywhere! It was God awful wasn't it - especially in our (east coast USA) winter weather in the dark...

  • Goldfinch60

    You could have been writing about my experiences when I was working.
    The only difference was the three sh's
    mine was shit, shave , shower. It still is but no rush now.

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