I take a drive through this peaceful town to escape the troubles of my own.
It’s citizens I will never meet for their heads are marked with stone.
Some are given flowers as visitors pass by with tear soaked eyes.
Some are on a hill, others under a tree.
I pass the ones who were far too young, even younger than three.
They are with the Lord, and that comforts me.
I find it somewhat strange and yet also comforting.
My secret awasis where the company lies slumbering.
The air is clear and my mind can expand,
Amongst the earthworm inhabited sand.
The flesh does not rule for it has decayed.
For the bodies, a tomb is made.
They cannot speak nor judge or discriminate.
The sun is setting on the town as I walk out through the weathered gate.
Chapels with their amber rays of light passing through the air
It seems as though I’ve been here for days.
With a most peculiar gaze, I leave in a haze.
I will return to my peaceful town
But for now, I leave behind the sleepers’ grounds.
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Author:
Leya Virago (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: December 16th, 2018 03:48
- Comment from author about the poem: This was reviewed by some of my professors and I would like to hear the reviews on this platform. Thanks
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 34
Offline)
Comments2
This is a delightful read and you ask for reviews. I am predominantly an artist but in poetry as in art, to quote that awful idiom: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You can seek the views of several 'experts' and get different views from each of them. For me it reads as something from you and and I certainly couldn't have written it as you have. I could suggest some changes which I would make and which I feel might 'improve' it but they may not be right for you. As for rules they are there to be broken and if you do you are not going to be arrested - if they are right for you go ahead and break them. Gosh aren't I rambling on - please forgive me.
Thank you for the rant Michael! I agree, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t ask for changes as much as, what the reader felt; though I am aware of some spelling errors. Are you suggesting that I am breaking the laws of poetry sir? (Laughter) Poetry has been breaking the laws since the beginning! I wish to be a part of the history of poetry in its rawest form. I believe your comments have solidified that notion for me. Thanks again for the commenting and I hope you will read some of my other work!
A good write D. Awasis = oasis?
Not morbid or depressing, and neither a fascination with death.
A sort of sub title might be: 'A walk through a graveyard'.
You are very observant! Thanks for the spell check! I must have been writing the sound.
No not morbid or depressing but an observation of the dead in their beauty rather than their ashes.
Thanks D. I though it was an actual word. Well, it comes up on Google search as a Company!
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