Tomorrow

I woke up today

8 am, as always

Nothing has changed

It's all the same

I'll get ready

Say goodbye to my family

Smile and wave

To the stranger on the street

Enjoying the breeze on my face

I clock into work

And tie my apron around my waist

I know the drill 

I'm comfortable here

One customer compliments me

The other criticizes

Neither fazes me 

I brush it off

And rejoin my co-workers

Some are friends

Others are like family

We joke and we laugh

We gossip and we chat

Our daily duties go by in a flash

8 hours in and it's time to leave

I punch in my number

And collect my receipt

5 days into the week 

And already 26 hours registered

Time to head home

I'm greeted at the door 

Stepping inside, the dogs surround me

Hoping for love

And perhaps a surprise treat

The rest of the night is a blur

A routine on repeat

Dinner, and then I'll watch some t.v.

Maybe I'll clean my room

I'm the last to sleep

I walk into my room

Uncertain as to why

I feel so ashamed

This immense anxiety soon fills me

I don't want to spend the night alone

But I always do

That never changes

I change, and lay my head on the pillow

Like every night

I spend hours on my phone

This time I was on YouTube

I was watching music videos

6, maybe 5 hours before I have to get up 

I say enough, and shut it off

I close my eyes and soon fall asleep

Tomorrow, I will repeat everything

Tomorrow, I will wake up

I will look in the mirror

And feel inadequate

I will get ready 

But still feel stupid and ugly

I will leave for work 

And feel like an idiot 

Riding a bike in December

But I don't have a choice

At work I'll do my best

I'll smile and look like I'm having fun

When all I want to do

Is clock out and hide at home

Sometimes I'll use the restroom

Just so I have a place to cry

The hours I'm working 

Are exhausting

But I still ask for more

At home I immerse myself in fictional worlds

Some are on the t.v., others on my phone

I laugh and I have fun

But when the night is done

The hollow loneliness from within

Becomes abundantly clear

I lay my head on the pillow

And pray 

Let this be the end

For tomorrow I'll have to do it all again

I'll have to pretend