Him

Spirits absorb your lungs,

Anger builds up inside you yet all you feel is emptiness. 

How does it feel being the girl he fucks,

but never talks to.

Who takes that place?

Who knows his secrets? 

Will you ever fulfill his emotions?

The constant questions your brain asks over over and over.

Constant urge for drink which glides through your body as comfort increases. 

It won’t stop. You can’t stop. 

The sickening realisation that this is all you are worthy of, is it?

Worth. 

What does that even mean to you?

You respond to his vision of love with hatred. You don’t want to be his puppet any longer. 

Be strong. Be strong you repeat.

Fighting back with words you don’t even understand, why? 

Not tonight. Not tonight you say with great confidence and persistence.

You won’t take it without some understanding, what does he think of you.  

Why are you weeping after the clear instruction. Just don’t.

Is this you or him. 

Not today you say. 

Over over and over once again.

Do you trust your head?

Trust your words 

Trust your actions 

Will he win once again

Not today baby, not today.