i survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.
when you go through a traumatic event, theres alot of shame that comes with that..alot of loss of self-esteem..that can become debilitating.
after a traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go into permanent alert, as is the danger might return at any moment.
the body remembers..stuffed until an event, a sound, a sight, a touch, a word or a person awakens them.
when people have been traumatized, they are stuck in a paralysis-the immobility reaction or abrupt explosions of rage.
when you get reactive, get curious..you have a wound that is being asked to be healed.
no one cares unless your pretty or dying.
doesnt matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar.
a trigger is the connection between the conscious mind and a buried painful memory.
being able to survive doesnt mean it was ever ok.
its amazing how a traumatic memory can remain very much alive, it doesnt behave like a regular memory..the memory doesnt decay.
my worst enemy is my memory.
for me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation, it gets the hurt out in the open into the light and out of the darkness.
learn to differentiate between the sound of your intuition guiding you and your trauma misleading you.
behind every girls favorite song is an untold story.
your mental health is more important than the test, the interview, the lunch date, the meeting, the family dinner, and grocery run..take care of yourself.
i worry my depression and anxiety are always going to keep me from being the person i dreamed of becoming.
when taking care of someone with trauma..be aware a person with ptsd can slip from perfectly fine to falling apart very quickly and same goes with people with depression.
i am exhausted from trying to be stronger than i feel.
my anxiety is silent, you wouldnt even notice a change on the outside, but im honestly so stressed i cant even manage simple tasks.. people call me lazy when in reality im just overwhelmed.
its sad, actually because my anxiety keeps me from enjoying things as much as i should at this age.
when im upset i shut myself down i have no motivation for anything i tell myself that nobody cares even though i know some do..i think about all the negative things i could possibly think of..i give myself all the pain thinking i deserve it..im not sure why i do that, but thats just how i am.
she got quieter, her nights got longer, her blades got bigger, her sleeves got longer, her meals became smaller, she became skinnier, her music got louder and not one noticed.
i realized today that i have stopped living life..i am literally just trying to get to the next day, just living in the thought of tomorrow..i am not living, i am waiting..and the trouble is i dont know what i am exactly waiting for, i am kind of scared for what it might be.
people think depression is sadness..people think depression is crying..people think depression is dressing in black..but people are wrong..depression is the constant feeling of being numb, being numb to emotions, being numb to life..you wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.
having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time, its the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive, its wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely, its feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.
the bravest thing i have ever done was continuing to live when i wanted to die.
i wonder how many pills, or cuts, or accidents, or breakdowns, or panic attacks, or bad days would it take to prove i resemble a tree i look strong on the outside, but when a part of me snaps inside theres nothing left but my rotting years.
its amazing... it truly is ...how one day your this bright happy girl, and the next day you dont even recognize her.
sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is the most lonely person.
stress and anxiety cause our brains to release chemicals that put lines in our faces and tear us down emotionally and spiritually.
most things we worry about never happens.
just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, she became a butterfly.
- Author: Writings From The Unknown13 ( Offline)
- Published: January 2nd, 2019 11:29
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 115
Comments1
Nicely written. You poem is a commentary on the effects of depression. Yes, you are correct, stress is the causal factor for the release of cortisol and, as a result, will increase blood pressure and contribute to many ailments. You can google them.
Supposedly, weight bearing exercises, sleep and an anti-inflammatory diet will help control cortisol levels.
Even though your poem was heart-wrenching, your words ring true. Thanks for sharing and concentrate on less stressful things in life. 🙂
thank you!!!!
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.