Tell me,
You say
As if
It's simple to do
Tell you
I lay
As if
I'm left without a clue
Tell you of the feelings
Drifing, fleeting dreamings
Tell you something real?
Instead of imagination's spiel?
Words fall
Clumsily
From my
Open lips
I watch
You try
To taste
Poisoned bliss
Visions
Scatter
Floorwards
As I kneel
Perhaps
You will
Show me
How to feel
Perhaps it is more complex
Than this witch's thirteenth hex
Indeed I think we need to dance
Together, back and forth, this trance
Spin me
Dizzy
Hold me
Show me
Then when
It's over
Whisper
Tell me
I'll lay
And watch
Words speak
You'll see
After the teaching
And endlessly reaching
And pulsating sensations real
I am released
And can speak
How I feel
-
Author:
sylviasearcher (
Offline) - Published: January 11th, 2019 02:49
- Comment from author about the poem: A very quick rough draft early in the morning. I may come back to it Does it need 18? I suppose it depends how you read it?
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 41
- User favorite of this poem: whisperingquill.
Offline)
Comments3
I notice you say this is a quick rough draft & may consider revising ... my opinion may not be worth much here, but I would urge you to leave as is...or only amend if you really think you must... In essence, your 'Tell You' poem reads like a very sincere and desperate plea... anyway, thoroughly enjoyed by my humble self.... N
Well you seem to be the only one who liked this today but I had a feeling you might.
I actually edited just one word but before you read it.
Sometimes the rawness and authenticity of a rough draft captures a moment better than hours of editing where thought invades feeling.
true...
This is complete......
The longing, the hunger....
Every breath is complex,
every whisper is a piece of the puzzle...
In my humble opinion this is ready to go as it is....thank you for sharing.
Thanks wq.
Your humble opinion means a lot.
Especially when you use that breathy whisper of yours 😉
Well I enjoyed the read - great format.
Thanks Michael 🤗
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