Tell You

Tell me,

You say

As if

It's simple to do


Tell you

I lay

As if

I'm left without a clue


Tell you of the feelings

Drifing, fleeting dreamings


Tell you something real?

Instead of imagination's spiel? 


Words fall 


From my

Open lips


I watch

You try

To taste

Poisoned bliss





As I kneel



You will

Show me

How to feel


Perhaps it is more complex

Than this witch's thirteenth hex


Indeed I think we need to dance

Together, back and forth, this trance


Spin me


Hold me

Show me


Then when 

It's over


Tell me


I'll lay

And watch

Words speak

You'll see


After the teaching

And endlessly reaching


And pulsating sensations real

I am released

And can speak

How I feel


  • Neville

    I notice you say this is a quick rough draft & may consider revising ... my opinion may not be worth much here, but I would urge you to leave as is...or only amend if you really think you must... In essence, your 'Tell You' poem reads like a very sincere and desperate plea... anyway, thoroughly enjoyed by my humble self.... N

    • sylviasearcher

      Well you seem to be the only one who liked this today but I had a feeling you might.

      I actually edited just one word but before you read it.

      Sometimes the rawness and authenticity of a rough draft captures a moment better than hours of editing where thought invades feeling.

      • Neville


      • whisperingquill

        This is complete......

        The longing, the hunger....

        Every breath is complex,
        every whisper is a piece of the puzzle...

        In my humble opinion this is ready to go as it is....thank you for sharing.

        • sylviasearcher

          Thanks wq.
          Your humble opinion means a lot.
          Especially when you use that breathy whisper of yours 😉

        • Michael Edwards

          Well I enjoyed the read - great format.

        • Johnny Lawless

          It comes out a little notchy (meaning how it ties together), but has a cool format. I like how I pause between lines. This one would drive me crazy to edit. A raw first draft usually works best for me.

          "Tell you something real?
          Instead of imagination's spiel?", is my favorite.

          • sylviasearcher

            Thanks for reading .

            I sometimes try to convince myself that the notchiness adds some meaning to perceiving...


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