My Depression

Denise

Depression is an endless ocean 

Its me wandering my 9 x 12 foot kitchen relentlessly 

Sleeping in till noon, covers over my head

Wondering how I got back to this place

I’ve visited here many times before 

But I never intended on staying

It’s me playing a million scenarios in my head when I don’t get a message back,

I shouldn’t care but I do, 

Depression is me putting makeup on everyday just to feel semi normal 

I’m not normal so how’s the makeup going to help

It’s me staring in the mirror, second guessing

There’s that feeling again, Hopeless, doubt, loneliness?

No, sadness. Hello my friend,

It’s been a while since I’ve felt you this bad,

It’s me sitting on my front step at 230 in morning listening to music while I cry

And then yell at myself for not being strong 

It’s repetitive, I’m shaky, I’m out of control

Just stare at the wall, why can’t you smile 

Just fake it, FAKE IT. You’ve done it before

Fuck You depression, you’re not welcome anymore. 

 

 

 

  • Author: Denise G (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 20th, 2019 02:23
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 26
  • User favorite of this poem: SorrowfullyHappy.
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Comments3

  • BoxMyHeart

    Beautifully raw. It's very intense you have a lot of feelings in this poem, and through it you can feel them all. Thanks for this one!
    Keep writing & keep living 🙂

    • Denise

      Thank you, it’s much appreciated!

    • SorrowfullyHappy

      I know how you feel I have been diagnosed with sever depression and bipolar depression and every day is a struggle to pretend I'm ok to put on a fake smile I had 2 friends who helped me but after recent events I've been left behind and lately I just cant fake being happy I cant see any point in smiling any longer I haven't even left my room in days I hope you have better luck with it than I did

      • Denise

        I am sorry that you have similar feelings, depression is a part of my life but it doesn’t make me who I am, just keep on being you. Writing, drawing, and painting has helped me in tremendous ways. I wish you the best my friend. ❤️

      • psychofemale

        nicely written.

        • Denise

          Thank you ❤️



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