Liquid

It's getting way too deep

I don't know what it is that I am doing

So far behind

In financial despair

I can feel the drastic changes lingering in the air

I would sit here crying uselessly about how life is not fair

But nobody took me there but myself

Me

Allowing too many vampires to see my soul

Now, they are convinced that they can take it for themselves

Clearly, that is far from the case with me

It is an old game that I have mastered over the arch of time

No, I don't have a dollar!

I don't have a fucking dime!

Committing crimes upon my own well being

I have not been seeing straight for days

Just waking up each day hoping that it will somehow pay me

The snow has been falling for two weeks now

This shit is all way too crazy

I have been relentless

Careless

Reckless

Lazy

I had a small plan before now and now I think it may be my only answer

There goes a new life with this stubborn Cancer guy I have been hanging around

I thought that I had found someone who may one day meet me in the middle

But, I know deep down that these things take much more time

Perhaps this is only a temporary situation

Company to keep me safe from going totally insane

When all the ice turns back into liquid, the answers will be more than clear

I need to think about myself as I get up out of here

I cannot take him under my wings for they no longer even allow me to fly

Everyone who I have nurtured in my past have found some reason to blame me for why they need to run

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks

When they make up their minds, it is no longer safe to get up in the mix

They are going to do whatever it is that their instincts tell them to do

Especially if they have already faded deep enough into the black

It's crack cocaine for the other side

It enables the conjured ones to feel like they are actually alive

The darkest of the shadows thrive upon it

It is the fatal liquid that always searches for the spoon

The liar that hides from the Sunlight and dances against the tide of the Moon

It is the one who is responsible for the shitty things that are happening to me now

It follows my trail always

It urges me to forever to take it into me

It needs to see me fail

I already know damned well not to ever be so blind

This is why it wont ever let me leave it behind me...

2/17/2019