Words of Silent Honesty

I would be lying

if I didn't say I'm worried


I would be blind

if I didn't say what I see


I would be false

if I didn't say I'm grateful


grateful for nights

spilled with bottles and thoughts

bottles of the fullest bottom


thoughts that takes you to the sky


because the reaper is in a hurry


the grip around me is tighter then before


because even if I walk with a smile

I can feel the numbness that was left from before


making every tone harder to send is melody

making every word lose is letters for it's lyrics


I know my jokes reaches the top quality

but please don't tell me this is a joke


because the strings around my heart

never lost it's force


Even in the silence I'm worried about all of us

just like how would offer my 12 pm to another 12 pm

making the clock going in a 24 tick


because even if I am wounded

I am accepted for what I do

I am cared for

I feel like I have done enough with you


I am becoming happy

something the hangman searched for years to come

the day he was born


because I don't feel like drone

that works like a slave in the mine of love




I don't feel like I'm messed around with like before

like a drunk man with too many notes left at the hallway door


when morning comes

it is at that point I can feel warmth

even if my eyes are tired

my heart is comforted

comforted by the arms around me

making me feel my little happy rain clouds

making me look up to the sky asking


''Am I worth this?''


because even fools like my

that run around biting his own tail

can be lucky enough in a coin toss

to find someone that has a equal scale

that goes not overboard or under

it is enough


for a gunman

doing sins is for survival

but for a hangman

doing sins are an excuse

so find me a name

to give me an excuse to be free


so my stringed heart

can finally gets it's grip loosen

so I can finally breath once more

so I can finally be the one in the mirror once more


I'm not lost in myself

I'm just lost in my words

in my own thoughts


but I'm smiling

because my guiding star

has arrived to show me the way


Not by guilt like the rest


words of regret


just me being able to be myself

me being able to hear

me being able to see

me being able to feel


Sometimes I have the feeling to repeat myself

saying the same thing in different ways

going a loop in different words


but I do it just to make myself clear

that today I don't stand on the mountain

that today I'm not at the beach

and that today I'm not away in town


but I am here with her

because she makes my everything

be enough for me


She makes words that went numb for me

alive and awake


She made an illusion become reality

She made me smile again


so I'm just gonna stand up for once


say out loud


''I'm the worse, but even the worse deserves something good''

because it reminds us

that deep inside

that we are all alive


But if I had a wish

I just wish my doubt wouldn't settle in

because being experienced is one of the worst thing

because then the past worries one


But I never thought about it for the first time

she makes a hound like me only bark on command


because she is someone I'll smile for

and give up all my empty bottles for


so when I'm going insane

going wanderlust

running away like a wild dog

then I'll wait up


so I don't have to walk the path

with the flickering lights alone


so when I go hand in hand

into my faults

she makes them feel right


I am lost in the room

with the four walls

that makes me feel insane

so let my tired soul

just lean forward to rest my head

on you


like the pillow last night

just feeling comfort


so let today be alright and tomorrow better

because yesterday was left in ruins

when the way I am change and I forget to say my words


but just to make sure I don't forget it

I'll put up notes in my head


''I love you dearly''

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