Control

Am I living to die, or am I dying to live?

Am I living for that perfect fantasy, or dying for the sense of peace?

Am I living for today, or dying for tomorrow?

I wake up, and the first thought is when ill be able to go back to sleep,

see nothing bothers me when im sleeping, im just living out my dreams. 

Everything I don't have but long for comes when im sleeping,

everything that brings me happiness comes when im not in control.

Im not happy when im in control,

I hate the way I look, sound, act, feel, hear, hurt. 

When will it end, its been years, when do i finally get to take control of my life.

When do i finally get my happy ending where everything comes full circle.

When does all the pain I have gone through come full circle with the time where I enjoyed being awake.

When does the good outweigh the bad, because the bad is touching the ground, while the good is high above the ground.

When does everything even out, and I can live with the pain because i know the good is coming. 

Hell, who am I kidding, im going back to sleep.

Goodnight?