pain

As my tears fall, my heart becomes damp. 

As the pain seeps through the cracks that form my false hope,

I realise my heart hasn’t smiled in days. 

As my stomach rumbles in horror and harrow

As my mind aches and my vision blurs

I realise my reality has become my nightmares.

I hope for a sense of light, a sense of forgiveness

But the dark and dense whole that gapes in my soul feels permanent. 

How will I ever recover from this feeling of loss.

The planet orbits my brain and I float silently in the abyss.

I miss myself. 

I am grieving the smile that once laid upon my warm face. 

I am grieving my past life that I tightly hold onto for a sense of normality… 

Maybe I should let go 

Maybe I should leave that old broken home. 

I fear that if I abandon my shelter that I will never feel love again. 

That I will melt away and loose my compassion. 

If time was replaceable, I would replace the last 4 months in a instant. 

My world feels like it is crumbling. 

Will this pain ever weaken? 

Will I find peace? 

Will the images I have seen ever erase from the innocence of my mind. 

Will I ever recover from the pain you have put me through. 

I sure hope so…

Because the pain and heart break I have been feeling, 

Is easily the worst pain of all.