A Person Who Isn't There

A few words

Will bring a tear to my eye

Or the feeling of many

But I never really cry

Not anymore

Except I want to

I fucking want to all the time

You’re glitter all around me

Glitter in the air

And I know there’s this goodness

But sometimes I forget that it’s there

And it gets lonely in my head

I think back to when it was just 2 doors

2 doors down

To my best friends

Now it’s 2 minutes thinking

Of what to say

To strike up a conversation

A common ground again

Because without our common room

What is our common ground

We love each other I know

I just get scared when you’re not around

And nowadays, you’re never around

I remember lying on your bed

Not talking

But sharing space and thoughts

What we come back to when we’re done

With that big otherness

In those moments I never imagined

Not having us

I see you sometimes

I still hate the goodbyes

Because it’s only snippets

From here on out

I’ll never lie next to you again

Forgetting that nothing lasts

But I gather up all of the goodness

I grasp at the warmth

I’ll be gentle I promise

And handle our us with care

I try and slow down time a little, if I can

Because, gentleness

Warmth

Goodness

And care

These are what I need to feel

From a person who isn’t there