I sit at the table – alone.
My loved one away for a week
To give me a rest,
A rest from her dreadful dementia.
It is so hard,
She is in a world of her own
Where I almost don’t exist.
I do everything for her,
I lead two lives,
And the second one
Is so exhausting.
No rest, day or night
So these days alone
Help me to recover,
But here on Saturday evening,
The meal prepared as usual,
I sit at the table – alone.
-
Author:
Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: June 2nd, 2019 01:16
- Comment from author about the poem: Just thinking about her.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 31
Offline)
Comments9
It's difficult - yet what do I know? Only a bit perhaps, though not having personal experience of this. Thinking of you both Gold.
Thank you Orchi, you support is so valuable to me.
Thanks Gold. You have hints, glimpses, sparks, or flame of faith burning still, I believe. 🙂
On the face of it a sad piece but....
Alone, or getting used to preparing the next phase of your life Goldfinch?
Change, especially when its an unwanted change, is damned difficult and takes all our positivity to see it thru into something constructive and worthwhile.
I dont picture u as one who sits alone and sad for long periods.
There's plenty of life, plenty of get up and go in you my friend. I bet you have plans.
You are so right d a, I am starting to adapt and thinking of what I will do when she goes into permanent care, not a very good thing to think about but it is getting so hard to cope - I will cope.
Life will be easier and obviously I will go and see her regularly as the love I have for her will never fail but I must start thinking about my life without her.
Yes I do have plans about doing other things, I might even pick up the trumpet and clarinet again.
Let me know if you do, i have 5 saxes here embarrassing me.
I only have 1 trumpet, 3 clarinets and enough tin whistles to form a band!
Can you play without the dots and improvise?
I wish! I cannot get the improvisation in my head through the instruments, I have played with those that could.
In the choirs that I am in I am accused of improvisation! LOL
You will always have your wonderful wife with you Andy, In your heart and memories.
Tough tough times I would have to believe God had given margie me to take care of her if I were in your shoes.
Thinking of you both
Andrew
Thank you Andrew, so very true, she will always be with me.
I know that I have said it before, but I genuinely hope you can relax a little and make the most of this brief respite... one which you so obviously need , even though it is just as obvious you resent the need and will miss your dear wife throughout... sadder than sad and I shall be thinking of you... Neville
Thank you Neville, yes I need it and yes I miss her dearly.
Thank you for your support.
you are more than welcome sir, and true... Neville
From all that I have read so far, your love and care for her surpasses most. As such, you have built a treasure trove of memories to forever accompany you.
These moments apart, to strengthen your resolve and you have many a friend on MPS.
Thank you Suresh, yes we do have a treasure trove of memories on which to look back upon.
I am so grateful to all my friends on MPS they have been so supportive to me, I am humbled by their support.
Your inspiring personality will find a way through when you can cope no longer dear friend and to read that you might go back to music with playing clarinet and trumpet shows that you will quietly adapt..... life still feels worthwhile when we can look back on happy memories dear Goldy.
Thank you so much for your kind words Fay, yes I will find a way through and yes I might even 'blow my own trumpet' once more.
HI UNCLE ANDY ~ Thanks for sharing the Video sometimes a person surprises us with a hidden talent ! Some of my Extended Family are Classical Pianists and cant resist giving *Covert Piano* a tinkle ! Always draws an AUDIENCE !
Thanks again for sharing a love POEM relating to JOYCE straight from YOUR LOVING HEART ! Many of us grapple with Dementia in Friends & Family but ~ in our own experience ~ never as close as You & Your Beloved JOYCE ~ We pray for you 24/7.
Blessings & Peace & Love to YOU & JOYCE
Yours as always ~ ANGELA & BRIAN 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
Thank you A and B for your kind words.
The support and friendship that I have had from you and others on MPS means so much to me.
Andy
I am lost for words that could help but I send all my strength to this heartfelt out pour.
You an amazing being I admire with all my pride to love and continue this life. I've been unsure to post one I wrote while with my grandmother the other weekend but with your spirit in mind I shall let go of that pain as you have.
Thank you again for being so perfectly you.
Andy as you know I've been through this and the unthinkable starts to become the norm. Every time I leave the care facility I am down and it takes a day to recover but when I arrive there he is actually fine and surrounded by people who are always on the alert and taking care of him and he is slightly aware and does not seem at all distressed which is a blessing. What hurts is that he was "mine" and now I am "the visitor" and so the letting go has to be on my part. This is the hardest thing I have ever lived through and a very lonely experience - I feel for you.
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