Goodbye HighSchool

school is coming to an end...

i shouldnt have waited this long to write this but here i am...

june 7th and we have 10 days left but really without the weekends we have 7 days left of actual school.

school is coming to an end and im not ready to say goodbye.

its not just school..

im graduating!!!

im saying goodbye to school...

not just another year.

im not saying goodbye to my senior year...

im saying goodbye to my 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade years.

im saying goodbye to highschool and im scared.

im not ready...

i made a youtube playlist of the most memorable songs ive listened to, been dedicated to, listened to through every relationship, every sad moment...

a playlist of the past 4 years that hit the heart the most and they are all sad memories but its the memories that i can say "thank you, next" to...

say thank you for cheating on me, lying to me, thank you for breaking my heart because it made me into who i am today and i wouldnt want to change a thing.

i dont miss middle school but ill miss high school everyday.

im not ready to say goodbye...

its happening to fast i want to relive my senior year..

i want to relive my junior year..

i want to relive my sophmore year..

i want to relive my freshman year surprisingly.

i want to relive it all.

i didnt realize highschool would go by so fast.

it feels like it went by in a second.

4 years...

4 years of feeling depressed and happy, the bullying, the bad grades, the good grades, the heartache, the falling in love, the songs, the education, the friends, the poems, the memories in these 4 years...

4 years feels more like 4 seconds...

a thousand hellos in 4 seconds, a million goodbyes in 4 years, a billion tears in 4 years, one graduation and one more goodbyes.

im not ready for it.

theres a song"him" the one from 10th grade yeah him the one thats dating her the one he got pregnant the one he cheated on me with...

finally ill share his name...

...scott...

yeah him

he dedicated this song "hey there delilah" and he dedicated it to me in my sophmore year...

two years later here i am still listening to it but only because of the progress ive made and this one line...

the one line is "...two more years and youll be done with school..."

he dedicated this song to me my sophmore year and so then i had two more years and ill be done with school...

well here i am two years later and im done with school...

im not ready to say goodbye...

goodbye to all the memories of everyone, friends, exes, my feelings, my happiness..

everything...

all memories...

not just school but highschool.

highschool is coming to an end and i dont want to leave.

this school is where i loved to come to get away from home, write, socialize, and share my poems.

school is where i came to find myself and finally at the end of my senior year i have finally created myself.

no matter how much i miss the old me i cant wait for the future me but i still want to relive highschool but not to change me or the memories but to treasure it.

treasure the pain, heartbreak, happiness, love, funny moments and difficult times.

i know ive said this a million times but im not ready to say goodbye.

goodbye is the last thing i want to say.

i need to remind myself at graduation to go slow and hold on to this last memory of highschool.

i dont skip class anymore but id like to walk around the school one last time and reminisce everything of every moment. 

im sad 

im depressed

but its a happy sad.

its a good depressed because im sad and depressed to be leaving school.

its a happy and good sad because it means i made so many memories i dont want to leave behind.

im leaving all my friends and i wont sit at the lunch table anymore.

i wont go to the bathroom to talk and laugh anymore.

i wont be there and my friends will go on about there lives to continue this but i just hope they think of me when they do.

its the last week of school and im not ready to say goodbye...

but for the sake of this poem...

im calling it..

"Goodbye HighSchool."