Cynthia

The Hand To Guide Me

You were the one who was supposed to hold my hand

You were the one who was supposed to protect me

You were the one who was supposed to hold me after my first heart break

But you weren't

 

Where were you dad?

Sure I had my step dad but I needed YOU

Where were you daddy?

When I cried myself to sleep wondering if you loved me

 

I'm your own flesh and blood

How could you abandon me

I trusted you to always be there

To be the hand to guide me

 

Now I know where you were

You were home relaxing

I never crossed your mind

And when I did, it wouldn't be taxing

 

The memory of abandoning me

Never haunts you

Please daddy

Where were you

 

Tell me I'm wrong

That you love me

Tell me I've done enough to be worth something

Tell me I'm not a failed abortion

 

Everyday you call

To remind me how useless I am

You've grown into being the hand that guides me

But you don't guide me down a bright path

 

I try to please you

To make you proud

But in return you tell me I should have committed suicide when I had the chance

You're my dad

 

I didn't know I'd need protection from you too

I thought you'd be the one to take me to my first daddy daughter dance

I never went

I thought you'd be the one to meet my boyfriend and get to know him

 

I'm sorry I'm not good enough daddy

I love you with all my heart though

I'll always try to make you proud even if it ends with my blood on your hands

You wanted me dead anyways didn't you?

 

You were the one who was supposed to guide me

You were the one

The hand to guide me.



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