My coming out

My coming out

was less of a parade

and more of a panic attack.

I would often wonder

when I should come out

or if I should

stay in.

But in the end

there was nothing

no reason

no joy in 

staying in.

I came out in the morning,

my family could all read the papers I had left them

and I went to bed nervous

or giddy.

I didn't want to know which.

The next morning was fine.

I knew it would take

some time for them to 

really process it.

For them to call me they.

So I waited. 

I waited.

I waited.

Now I'm still she,

still straight,

a year later they refuse to

call me ace.

"You're too young" or

"You don't know what you are"

Yes I do, I'm too young.

Today I  corrected my dad

on someone else's pronouns.

He said he's "not doing that"

And that's how I know,

I'll always just

Be cis,

be straight,

I'll always just be

IN