dusk arising

dont ask me why

 

dont ask me why
i grew from the child
who never saw
himself in films
just skinny kids
good looking kids
who grew up and had their way

dont ask me why
i never learned
to love myself
the loner on a shelf
riding the bus alone
to a rocky home
where money hid the pains away

dont ask me why
i never learned to cry
nor learned to love
from mammas kisses
fathers belt strap blisters
stay out late
and creep in up those stairs

dont ask me why
i let time pass me by
looking out into the land
no confidence to hold a hand
build me up to put me down
till life was fully grown
behind the face of a clown

dont ask me why
i didnt have the answers
child of circumstance
lost in poetic romance
reflecting pointlessly
what alternative for me
but a parcel of excuses

no dont ask me why
i've run right out of answers
though questions still ring
from ghosts haunting pastures
where my mind will wander
till daybreak snatches
and demons wait to plunder 

Comments10

  • Neville

    a great poem DA and certainly one that many would relate to I'm sure.......

    • dusk arising

      A very personal one for me Neville. Maybe its this course of drugs i'm on had enabled me to reach within.

      • Neville

        well they did us all a favour mate............N

      • Fay Slimm

        A load of pathos in these poignant lines my friend - - questions that many are asking today about questionable care - - - your words should be in print and read to those who are in control of better home-making for growing minds.

        • dusk arising

          There are all kinds of stresses and abuses it is easy for the busy adult mind to ignore. Here in 2019 we are so aware of such issues. Growing up in the 1950/60's there was little if any awareness and parents did their parenting by the example they were shown. Yes that is an excuse for bad parenting of those times which though understandable though no longer acceptable.
          Written from the heart and difficult to re-read.

        • Gogeta

          After a life of absolutes I'm in that void of uncertainty of questions I never thought I'd ask with no answers. You have a great depth and an interesting style, I look forward to reading more

          • dusk arising

            Thanks for looking in Gogeta. Answers are out there someplace... sometimes it takes a long time to come to terms with them. Plenty of us have found ourselves asking questions in the void and we are receptive to another voice. MPS is a great platform and you'll find us a responsive lot.

          • Suresh

            Don't ask me why it is difficult to explain that growing up in wealth doesn't translate into no pain and unloved loneliness. Just don't ask me why .......penned to hit its mark

            • orchidee

              Well, I feel I know the 'why' to this one. Growing in wealth for ones self can be selfish. That can cause pain and loneliness in the selfish attitude just to be rich.

              • dusk arising

                You hit the nail directly upon its head there Suresh. Middle class appearances were the major concern for parents. Children should be seen and not heard.
                And a note to orchidee, this is about formative years and how it effects the grown adult, nothing to do with selfish aquisition of wealth.

              • orchidee

                A fine write Dusk.
                Meanwhile - Why? Oops, you said 'Don't ask me why!' (heehee - sorry!).

                • dusk arising

                  The river wye is deep and troubled and knows not a lock.

                • Christina8

                  This is an awesome write Dusk! It's relatable to me in some ways and it is so well written.

                  • dusk arising

                    Thank you Christina, i'm sure many of us can find the roots of that which troubles us by contemplating our childhood experiences. I'm pleased that having exposed my vunerable / weakness' - so many are able to relate. It's reassuring.

                  • Goldfinch60

                    Very emotive write d a, maybe those questions cannot be answered but at least you can still ask them and wonder why they cannot be answered.
                    The one thing that you do have though is your music, as do I.

                    https://youtu.be/PVf37URW_ys

                    • dusk arising

                      Questions which are not at the forefront of my mind, indeed only posed as questions to create the platform to express a certain feeling which is within the essence of what makes me tick.

                      Great music link, thank you, delightful changes of tempo and mood.
                      Now here's one for you with the late michael brecker on tenor - generally accepted as being the most capable of all sax players though never a show off.
                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBAJ8P9y4lE&list=RDzBAJ8P9y4lE&start_radio=1&t=5

                      and one of my fav woodwind men yusef lateef here on flutes and sax
                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McZsu4riOm8

                      • Goldfinch60

                        Two great links, I do like Yusef Lateef, there is something about him that speaks to me.

                      • Poetic Dan

                        This felt so open and raw, as we all have our own answer I can just say, thank you for being the man you are today!

                        A gift in many many ways, always appreciated my friend.
                        A master of your own pen

                        • dusk arising

                          I guess its my phantoms showing thru Dan.

                        • Santita

                          Heart wrenching words rendered with poetic beauty. This is something I, and I think many others, can relate to. Thank you for sharing something that is more personal to you. It can be hard, but often it is worth it; as you can reach many. I feel these words as if they are my own. Sadly beautiful piece.

                          • dusk arising

                            Hello beautiful friend. Welcome out of the shadows of wherever you've been, for you have surely been missed. You've landed on a day when i publish something really personal and revealing. Much water has passed beneath the bridge and I hope you will stick around a while so that we may talk. I'm pleased my piece today chimes with you too.
                            Will we see more of yours on MPS again?

                          • Tiffany_Arnold

                            This is very descriptive I like this



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