The Scales Don't Lie

I ask you, my friend, to picture this,
your imagination, please:
He steps on the scales at 4 a.m.,
the numbers flash and tease.
He starts to weep uncontrollably,
steps off and drops to his knees.
"Why, O Lord, do these scales hate me so?
What have I done to displease?"
And he waited in silence until a voice
spoke to his awful dis-ease.

"Get over it, pal.  The scales don't lie.
You're fat!  And we both know that's true.
Lay off the carbs and the chocolate pie,
step back from that frothy brew,
eat smaller meals, no seconds allowed,
and I promise that if you do
your waist will shrink and you'll feel so good.
What I'm saying is perfectly true!"

He rose from his knees and hugged the scales.
"Thank you, my dearest friend.
I think your voice has saved my life."
But this story does not end.
He now heard a voice behind him say:
"My love, do not pretend."
And he turned to see his loving wife,
his partner and lifelong friend.

"First of all, those scales don't ever speak."
She kissed him on the cheek.
"It's time to make a sensible plan
you'll follow week by week.
You're fat and you're lazy, you sit too much.
Your future really looks bleak.
You'll probably die of a heart attack
because of the way you eat.
Your blood pressure's up, you're short of breath.
Are you going to concede defeat?"

Well, his face was pale but he knew the truth.
He had to give it a try.
He had to eat more healthy foods,
either that are say goodbye.
So as they embraced and started anew
he whispered, with a sigh:
"My Love, our strength will see us through,
but where did you hide that great chocolate pie?"