Cali Kittana

Are You My Soulmate?

Are you my soulmate?

This is a question I regularly ask myself

Whether single or in a relationship

I'm never surprised when the answer is no

I spend the hours scrolling through quotes

Only to feel my heart pang one more time

The way I yearn to feel such a connection

The fears that I never will

I wonder somedays if I've given you up

Or merely said you were nothing more than a friend

Are you my soulmate just as my friend?

Reading quotes now only digs into my heart

Makes me wonder if it's you or Not

I wonder if our first kisses meant the same to you

I wonder if you'll just hurt my heart with the answer

Are you my soulmate?

I want to say yes, you are, and we'll be happy forever

However, I also fear the answer will be no

You've rejected me a few times

Yet the way we've been lately has my heart hoping

But not in an anxiety sense

You make me feel calm and complete

The way we can be the same yet opposite

You used to give me butterflies

But the more we talk, the more I feel it unnecessary

There is no reason to fear losing you anymore

Are you my soulmate?

I've been asking for signs from the world

Simple things, like a text or a call

The way you call me Sunshine, the impact of meaning

The way I feel we don't need words to speak

How you always know how to make me happy

And you remember things even if you claim you don't

The way you seem to break all of your rules for me

Are you my soulmate?

You make my confidence raise

And my mood improve

Somehow, you make me change myself for the better

Despite not saying you're going to leave if I don't

How we'll plan future trips and visits

I yearn to see you more than once per year

Ever since the kisses we shared that afternoon

It feels as if I need you by my side more often

The way my whole world melted around me

Those kisses made me feel complete

They weren't like any I've had in the past

Sure the technique was the same, but the feeling

How it felt to have your lips pressed against mine

Hugging you felt almost natural

Running into your arms

Feeling your body pressed up against mine

Are you my soulmate?

I wonder that when I read that certain poem

And how I can hear you smile through the phone

Your smile in our photo together that afternoon

And how you think waking me up is a bad thing

Despite knowing I'd do anything for you

Hearing you chuckle when I get shy or teased

The way we match each other's sarcasm

How we seem like the most perfectly imperfect pair

I don't care what people thought seeing us together

Seeing you hold my hand, hug me tight, pull me close

Even the poor folks who witnessed those kisses

Are you my soulmate?

Only time may tell me that

One thing is for certain

At the time being, I know that I love you

Despite being too scared to say it directly to you

I want you to know that I love you everyday

Even when we don't talk that day

If we don't talk for over a week because we're busy

I love you despite people telling me not to fall again

Despite the distance and the lack of transportation

There's no way I couldn't with how you make me feel

Calm and relaxed yet hyper and excited

When you let me ramble on about my day

Even if it's things no one but me cares to know

So much of what you do and say makes my day

I will ask only one more time

Mainly to just ease my mind

One final time I ask this important question

The one that can fill or empty my hopes

Are you my soulmate?

 



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