the hidden lies I dare not speak

misskay

So many words left unspoken

Everyone close to me knows but you

I can’t say them out loud

But I kinda wish you knew

I type messages to tell you

But I delete each one before it’s sent

But every line I have written

I have always meant

I want you to love me

But I also want us to end

My feelings are stronger than my logic

And it’s getting harder to pretend

Forever contradicting myself

I want you

I want out

Constant battles and

Always in doubt

Time is Passing rapidly by

The words I speak to you

Are mostly lies

I tell you the opposite of how I feel

What I tell you I think

Is not really real

Because I am scared of what could be

Another failed attempt of our love

Or you rejecting me

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Comments +

dusk arising August 3rd, 2019 12:05
Wow, a complex subject. If this is a part of your life right now then i hope you see the benefit of writing it down for yourself (and us) to reflect upon.

Your last line reflects your insecurity - but it looks like there is plenty of reason in your relationship for you to have arrived at insecurity. However the last line speaks volumes because contrary to you feeling your lover will reject you, all other lines in your piece clearly show you are rejecting or have mentally rejected them already.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

Great writing misskay... look what it did to me!... made me write all that stuff and i meant every word of it.
misskay August 3rd, 2019 13:12
Thank you for your kind and honest comment Dusk Arising.
Writing what I think and feel down and reflecting on it later gives me emotional release which creates my head space accompanied by clarity.
I’m glad you enjoyed it

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