Temples

My body stopped being a temple

long before your kisses swallowed me whole

and your fingers learned all my curves

from the inside out

before drugs and drink

and self destruction

my body stopped being a temple

when i was four years old

and he laid eyes on me for the first time

when he lured me into his bedroom

my body learned what it felt like to be the walls of Jericho

i learned to be the falling tree that doesn't make a sound

my God must of thought I was a rock

but I am just a pillar of salt

spent too much time looking over my shoulder

not enough time watching for on coming traffic

i crash straight into the ones I should avoid the most

the impact

breaks my body into puzzle pieces left in the bedrooms of strangers

I leave no at the door cause no one listens any way

people only want to hear im fine

"its been 18 years

you are fine"

"you were too young to remember,

you are fine"

"it happened to me too

forget it

move on

you are fine"

but all that taught me

was to be a polite victim

dont scream out

dont cry where people can see you

dont talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable

this subject is taboo

disgraceful

something to be swept under the rug and forgotten about

because you could ruin his life

so when I was raped

I followed what I was taught

said no

but didn't make a scene

quietly let him break

the glass ribcage i had built to protect myself

and bury my voice with out an X to mark the spot

when i told some one a year later

they said "well maybe you shouldn't have drank

you put yourself in these situations and expect no to save you"

i expect "No" to save me

because I am human

My body is not a forbidden fruit to be taken when no one is looking

I am not bank with the doors left open and a sleeping security guard

I am human

I deserve to have my "No" respected

I

deserve

to

be

respected

"NO" is not just a word

It is the tipping point where you show whether you recognize me as a person

It is the embodiment of whether you see me as an equal

or just an object of pleasure

whether i consent or not

"No" is the most powerful weapon I have

In a world where I have been taught

that politeness is a virtue

and so is silence