Monster

I was such a happy kid

Although then I knew I was different

Things hurt me greater than others

From sound to the smallest touch

Hurt my ears and irritated my figures

So much I would burst in tears

But I was happy

And I was proud to be me

Then

I got much older 7-8 I was a confused child and curious at best

I always imagine me meaning so much to someone they would do all they can to protect me

Created dramatic scenes in my mind as if it was from a movie

Yes I had dreams

Of being loved

And I 

Yes I

I was loved very much loved

I was always creating the same scenes from my life just more expressive

But the confusion came in strong 

I started feeling sharp turns in my mood

I started getting sad

Extremely sad

To the point, it was energy draining

I didn't understand and back then there was nothing I knew that could explain this feeling

So I tried to end it

The only way that I knew of

I try to run away couldn't make it out the front door

I tried to put a pillow over my face but I gasped

Oh just one more

My final try it was just unlucky but lucky

I tried hanging myself in front of my mirror wall

I did

I tied it around my neck and jumped off my bed frame

Expecting to let go but instead

Just to see the monster that everyone has been talking about

Every kid knows

But something about my monster just was not the same

I know I know

Everyone reads these books about the monsters that are in your closet or under your bed

But my monster was in mine

It looked like me

Spoke like me

Even moved like me

In that mirror, I realized who the monster really is

Me

JUST ME

A me I recognized but didn't recognize

A me I just wanted to drown

A me that didn't speak the truth

A me who lied about feelings

A me that hid in my room until the morning light

Just to eat not to talk

Because that was not seen as a treat

A me that locked the real me in

The little girl

She was just a little girl

The little girl who was happy just unfortunate

The little girl who dreamed to be loved

But what that little girl didn't know is

That the person who was not going to love her

Was...
HERSELF 

Copyright ©2019 Tia Davis.All Rights Reserved.No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written consent of the author or publisher. All my poetry is copyrighted and stored in author base. All material subject to Copyright Infringement laws Section 512(c)(3) of the U.S. Copyright Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3),Tia Davis.