Ocean

forcing yourself forwards by struggling

tried to steer backwards to

keep to the past but that meant I had to guard

myself from letting you down by

spewing out nonsense just want no contact with

anyone outside of you please

take me out of hazier days and drive through silence together

then give me to the water

a kind that can’t be irrigated a body that can’t be drained

before you say silent goodbye

travel on to your better destination before I begin to

hunt out time because

you make your own mental montages stronger than reality

reels only hold the highlights but

our real holds all the failures as well that makes me question

how long can I keep telling myself

I am working towards being enough for you trying to find by

winding round and waiting

the alarm sings before starting but gets quieter when

you grant it focus only

had one purpose but we were too naïve to drink it all in for

.

ten days is more than

we will ever need shifting our lives around to

take view of the better map and

where next to seek which window to look out of and

which new vulnerability to cradle

trying to do this amidst the with the background noise but

can’t settle the sun through

burnt eyes holding too dear for being here again as if you

needed to check up on me the

second I let you back in because I feed problems with

different patterns hoped to

row through the storm because we played it off as light rain

an access denied to many

too many than we’re happy with begin to digress into

comfortable climates from

times easier lived but harder accepted threw you

out and into so I could

parade the deck alone living the life of glory as a life of selfish