Her Home

I thought things would change

We could change

Alone in my room I cry

Tears of wine staining my sheets blood red

No one would notice

Sometimes I wish I was different

Trapped in my body 

Escape doors bolted with locks

The key is addiction

The answer is death

The wind whistles

And shakes the bricks

My bones twitch and my heart slows

As eyes droop sorrows excite

My brain is drowning and it's running out of time

Lost in a forest of thoughts

The smoke covers the leaves

I pretend I don't see through

But they are standing there

I have to leave

Souls is frozen 

I go out in the night

No fear left

In the knife on the floor

I see my reflection

A shell of what I once called me

Worn and lost

Streams of mascara tattooed on my cheeks

I can hear the bottle rattle

The sound rings in my ears

My brain buzzes like electricity 

As I try to separate nightmares from reality

No luck

I always had her smile

But that too is now gone and forgotten

Burned to a powder

Breathed in to remember what happiness is

I feel my lungs stop

My red stained jumper lies heavy on my bruised skeleton

Dragging myself back home 

I hear an infants cry

It echoes through my empty veins

And brings envy to my eyes

Tired and cold I cripple

As my eyes roll back

I feel light slipping away

Escape at last

The door opens and inside I crawl

And join the lifeless pile of bodies on the floor.