I fell for a boy I won’t let myself have

I know I shouldn’t
But I want you
When your skin is touching mine all you have to do is ask and I would give you every last bit of myself
The things I would do to have your lips on mine
To have your arms wrapped around me
To call you mine
To have you say those three little words to me
I love you.
I am so scared of the way you make me feel, I’m terrified of telling you about my feelings because I know you can’t stick around
You have plans, a future you have worked so hard for
Who am I to waltz into your life and confess such things to you?
Who am I to ask you to pause those plan, and return my feelings?
I’d rather push my feelings down then be the reason why you come back to the place where you aren’t happy
I’d rather torture myself then to have you know that you have me wrapped around your finger
I’d rather live with the what if’s then the heartache of loving you from 6 states away.
I guess I’d rather not allow myself to have you because it’s easier then having you....