fortress

I seem to be oblivious

In all the wrong ways

Dissecting the behaviours

Of aliens that look like me

Yet always falling short

Of their kind of social ease

The heavy emotion

That follows the realisation

Is a pill though hard to swallow

I take like clockwork

Every time I fail to grasp

The threads of love

That are dangled in front of me

In a green and pleasant distance

And I’m resigned to say

That I don’t want to go back

To that window ledge

That seems so close

But leaves just enough room for hope

Hope, the doctor who prescribes me

Bitter pills

That there are two forces at play

A tug of good people and good wills

And the tug of a diminished girl

Who’s crumbling walls

Can’t bear the thought of the weight

Of more tourists, passers through

Admirers or disdainers I can never tell

Yet I do know

That with time, with distance,

they forget

And my heart gets armoured with dust

And so maybe this time,

I’ll leave it be