Staring at the shadow dancing around the fire
Tall leafy giants towering like an empire
The tattered ground calling out liars
As the hallucinogenic skies take time to admire
I don’t know whether this is dire
I don’t know whether my hopes will aspire
I don’t know whether I have anymore desires
I don’t know whether I will burn in hellfire
I don’t know whether things will acquire
Dusty stars set the mountains tops afire
Withered leaves clinging to their mother by a wire
Blackened ravens playing their cursed lyra
Ghostly memories hollering from the mucky mire
I don’t know whether this is dire
I don’t know whether my hopes will aspire
I don’t know whether I have anymore desires
I don’t know whether I will burn in hellfire
I don’t know whether things will acquire
Their beasts shouting like gunfire
My mind was in a crossfire
Their teeth twisting around like barb wire
My body just wanted to retire
Their claws being as large as Berkshire
And my soul felt like it was about to expire
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Author:
Katherine (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: February 6th, 2020 10:12
- Comment from author about the poem: Hey! Hope you enjoy and don't be afraid to leave feedback!
- Category: Surrealist
- Views: 24
- User favorite of this poem: ANGELA & BRIAN.
Offline)
Comments3
ANGELA HERE - Hi KITTY (Love your Picture) welcome to MPS it is a good Poetry site ! It operates by comenting on each others POEMS - OK. Thanks for your first poem it is epic ! Five Balanced Stanzas of 4 5 4 5 (repeat of S 2.) 6 - easy to recite - and a single RHYME (Fire - Empire etc !) very clever !. I have saved it as a Favourite and requested MPS Friendship. More Poems please !
As to the content ! It is a quest ion we all ask when we look back on our lives (Im 31 !) Stanza 1. Paints a picture paints a picture of One pondering the past & future. S 2. (Refrian) Asks five questions about the future including the awesome title quandary *I Dont Know Whether I Will Burn in Hellfire* S 3. A surrealist quartet of haunting visions - scary ! S 4. (Refrian as S 2.) S 5. Descibes the horror of the visions in S 3. and a final line which suggests you are about to capitulate to your beasts (demons) ! We enjoyed your POEM and are comenting - OK
And my soul felt like it was about to expire !
Because Im a devout Catholic I could sermonise the antidote ! I have no fear of Death or Hell because I believe Christ atoned for our Sins on the Cross in AD 33 - Amen ! The BIBLE (John 3 v 16) exhorts us to believe in CHRISTS Redemption and *We shall not PERISH (in HELLFIRE) but have ETERNAL LIFE (in HEAVEN) - AMEN ! SATAN (The DEVIL) does not want us to believe that - SO - He torments US anout HELLFIRE and convinces us that is where we are headed - as described in Your Excellent Graphic Poem ! Thanks for sharing & scaring !
Blessings & Peace & Joy
Yours ANGELA 💛💛💛
Please check our site - Thanks A & B !
I share this site with my Fiance BRIAN - OK
Berkshire is a County in England were Prince William
and his Wife Kate live - OK !
Thank you so much for the feedback! It's greatly appreciated and I'll make sure to publish some new poems soon. I'm glad you enjoy the poem and thank you again!
Berkshire is NOT a rhyme in this sequence. The word is pronounced BARKSHER. Also the concept of claw being 50 or 60 miles long is just plain silly. I suggest your drop the entirety of that penultimate line.
Barry Berkshire is only pronounced BARKSHER in London, it has other pronunciations in other areas of our country.
Kitty it is your poem and your words do not change anything.
Hilarious! People actually PREFER to mispronounce words! Not only in London...Berkshire is pronounced BARKSHER everywhere in the world except perhaps in some backwards American state - don't tell me it's BURKSHY-ER or I might wet myself laughing. Another mispronunciation I love is the way some people pronounce the Dutch artist Van Gogh as van-go - so side-splittingly ignorant.
3 more comments
Welcome to MPS Kitty, your soul is not about to expire it is finding new life and will expand in joy and love.
Andy
Awe! Thank you for the warm welcome!
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