I Lie

I know who I am. I know what I want.

I want to be yours, and you to be mine.

I know it won’t happen. No matter how much I want or care.. it’ll never be.

So I lie...I lie to myself when I say it’s fine

I lie when I say I’m happy that you’re happy, I lie when I say I’m not devastated and broken...and that every smile isn’t fake or a mask...I lie when I say I’m ok with just being your friend....

I feel nothing but dead inside, I hear your voice and I feel myself...for the first time in a long time I feel alive..

I know you don’t want me..I know I’m not good enough....maybe I lie to keep the tears in...or to just give myself some sense of false hope....or to keep me from ending it all.... unfortunately I can see through the lies like their made of glass...

Why do I put up with the torture? Why wouldn’t I just move on....simple, I’d rather endure the pain and have you as a friend then to not have you at all...