Intoxicated

I was your cure, and you were my disease. I was saving you, but you were killing me. It hurts like hell but that's okay I'm used to it.I want you to know, but I don't want to tell you. Yeah I'm smiling but don't let that fool you. Look into my eyes I'm breaking on the inside. People see me only how I want them too, but nobody see's the real me unless, I trust them too. My feelings gone. I can no longer say that I'M in Love with you but I can say I care enough about you. You hurt me to my core, that I no longer love like I did before. You've completely destroyed me, but deep down inside, I know I am trying, trying to forget your love, to forget you. But that's kinda hard knowing that you're by my side every day and night. Laying next to you scares me sometimes. Knowing that you're Physically, emotionally, verbally & mentally abusive scares the shit outta me. I don't want anybody to know, because I'm scared that you'll find out and do the unthinkable, because I know you're unpredictable. Your words hurt like no other, but your actions hurts more when you go back on your word. You say you love me right? Then why do you continue to destroy me even more? I sacrificed everything for you... my family, my friends, and my education, and even more. I gave you my all! I gave you EVERTHING! I THOUGHT YOU DESERVED EVERTHING! and in the end what do I get... just a title, a title I think no woman deserves... I loved you once, but... I can't anymore.