EMOTIONS

I spend most time in my head 

I converse in my thoughts 

haha, trust me 

I have made several series in my mind

I have produced and directed many movies in my mind

most ain’t sexual, but most are emotional

I feel most of everyday’s events are déjà-vus 

Am used to keeping to myself that I have my own world in my mind

Sometimes I cry in my thoughts and my heart gets so heavy

My eyes don’t cascade with tears 

But my heartbeat is rapid 

It’s as if I have sniffed coke or something 

I really love walking cause I tend to pause my life moments And meditate a lot 

Maybe it’s cause i don’t have a car 

And to be honest I don’t 

But the best moments of my day is when I walk solo for many kilometers 

Am always in a different zone

Everyone  seems like some dust particle being blown

I smile in my meditations

I laugh at times

Am usually in a trance when am by myself 

I feel complete 

I recall jokes 

My body feels light and at times I spread my hands as if I might fly the next second 

Only good moments hit me 

But, Then I think of you

The lover at mind but enemy in reality 

You wrong all my rights 

The mood changes 

I regret every moment, even the good ones raise a melancholic mood

I can’t let you go and I can’t have you 

My heart even doesn’t know what it wants either 

So my body temp. moderates 

Heartbeat rate drops

And it feels like am surfing in a calm wave near the shore

Which is not interesting

You are not my best memory to indulge in 

Tell me why you just affect my emotions like this?

Why do I feel like I lost you while I never had you?

Why do I feel like I have you under my palms while you’ve got the steering driving me nuts?

You affect my functionality 

You ain’t even my type of medicine , cause medication cures

You are a drug or some substance I don’t know 

Yet you don’t keep me high

You leave me dry and miserable 

Incase you were my medicine, Did Mother Nature give me a wrong prescription? 

Cause with you in mind, I don’t even cry or laugh

I just curse 

And i do crazy things to get over the emotions you leave me in

Is it hate or love?

Yet i don’t love you and I don’t wanna keep you

It ain’t even hate 

Cause I call you Babe and giggle when I see you 

Babe, it can’t be hate cause I can’t get over you

I can’t bear you leaving 

I will look for you, Boy

Maybe i like dwelling in dissatisfaction 

I wish I could tattoo myself in your daydreams

That you may see me when you try to escape reality 

Maybe i could get the fulfillment i am looking for