Tampa

A certain, unspeakable sadness ripples like music

Like tears, like honey through my body, an echo lost in a cave

With no end or light in sight, it remains like a ghost

Ribbons of blueness in my broken heart

The family's been torn apart

Since then, I've went with the wolves

Since then, I've poured salt on the wound

Since then, I've cut my nose off to spike my face

Since then, I shot myself in the foot

At the end of the forest

Liquid sunshine sunk into me                                                                                             

In the afterglow

Each tolerable pain lasts five minutes longer

Than the last pain that came before

I'm crouched over on the floor

My insides are dancing around like smoke

I caught a glimpse of my shadow in some Martello tower

The ocean clenched its fist

It was a bright red night alright

The moment lasted longer than the orgasm before

The moment was the ocean washing ashore

Delighting in pure sin

I've fucked, fucked to get far

I fucked all the way to Tampa

Fucked to get to Tampa

Been fucked over

Paranoia has the upper hand

I fell for Tampa counterfeit shit

Was left speechless by the eclipse

Pretty nimbus, pretty fearless

Paranoia has the upper hand

The relationship is ruined

I've fallen out with good friends

On impulsive excursions, explicitly living                                                                   

So numb I can't feel                                                                                                           

I hide in the shallow part of my brain                                                                                   

Responding to important voices which bellow                                                                             

I gain momentum then fall like a domino                                                                           

Like a defined jaw dropping                                                                                                         

Like a star falling from the sky                                                                                                     

Bursting into unalloyed pink veins

I made it through the day                                                                                                   

The fastest in the race, in a demented state                                                                         

Driven mad by the sweet tooth ache                                                                     

I can't explain it                                                                                                                           

Can't explain the politics                                                                                                 

I can't explain the bondage                                                                                                 

The unhealthy ways, the illegal activities                                                                                 

The darkness is my immortal enemy                                                                                                 

Breathing and full of life                                                                                           

Silence takes me to another time                                                                                           

To the gold rush in high season                                                                                                   

When everything was fine                                                                                                     

With my seagull mind

Conversations were flowing like beach waters                                               

Hardcore pleasure in the cock                                                                    

I was Tampa, alone with my thoughts                                                                                 

Counting sheep in my sleep                                                                                                   

It's just me and myself                                                                                                 

Myself and I.