temporary things

I have always tried to convince myself

that pain is temporary - 

perhaps that is the problem.

Because in spite of it all

the burning in my throat

when I drink to forget,

the enticing burn

of a blade against skin,

the desperate pining of my body

when I starve it of what it needs - 

of you -

these fleeting moments

of feeling something

are just temporary measures

a means to an end

attempts to pierce the endless discomfort 

you left in your wake

- it is all I have felt since