Just Holding On

Just holding on

I’ve been spinning around;

I’m so lost in this town.

Still trying to find perfection;

Looking for direction.

I need a guiding hand to push me like you mean it!

I want you to help me, to tell me exactly what I need to be!

Still searching, still searching; why can I not have love?

I am forever failing in my endless searching,

For that thing that everybody else does.

Fading in and out of life as today’s people just pass me by on their way,

Without a ‘Howdy do’; I never hear a word that they say.

Words of wisdom mean nothing to an amoeba who cannot hear.

All your helpful secrets you keep inside, while pushing me so far away.

When all I need is for you to pull me near,

I see you successfully running your life into the ground

And leaving me to my own pain.

I cannot speak about thoughts that I can never let myself speak out.

I keep my tongue in a lock-box when all I want to do is shout!

All of this it eats away at all of my love, but never my pain.

I feel the same old sting of insecurity every single day.

So scared of falling to pieces; no faith left in my brain.

All I keep inside just leaves me to cry.

The agony of being me!

This loser, freak, shall forever be nobody.

Holding on by only fingertips;

Just holding on to shattered reality pieces.

Holding on by fingertips…

One day soon I will surely slip.

(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.