Pursuit

I sleep, I scream and I repeat

circuits broken loose

veins numb

I open my eyes with light

only to fall beneath the four walls

I am nothing

People laugh and people walk

I am not

People smile and people run

I wish

So where is the genuity in my world

but all I see in the horizon is shadows

Who am I to choose my destiny

when all the borders are closed

Even when my closest has gone running

faraway with a smile with others

So who am I to pursue happiness

when darkness already pursue me

I am nothing

I am isolation

I am the solid truth

So if I had the power to change faith

it would only be the change

of making me have my last smile

over a drink

When I take my last sip

I hope my friend gives me relief

the sweet hope of euthanasia

So I can finally overcome the burning ache

I see the ocean in my cup for one last time

because this is my reality

a empty cup.