Fall

All the overtime that occupies my mind, just never seems right...

Home in the am, he's locked in his room...

This home consumed by doom...

I'm clueless to what he seeks, why he takes...

And why do I let him stay?

Or why he's developed a taste like me?

He must have dropped a needle...

It's in the grass...

In the back of the hedge, where no one has passed...

Very little left, no matter the hours I work, where I can hide...

From his voice when he cries...and says why?

That we let love go and let our demons win and climb inside...

Where we are never whole again, only little fragments left over from a life that existed in another dimension...

It says knock and then don't even come in...

I pound and enter his den...

Of sorrow and see a man that I once rocked as he giggled into my shoulder...

Now so much older...

A chance of a life where he might smile once again dismissed...

I hold him tight until he no longer resists...

My house. My room and you're my son...

Promise me you'll try once more and maybe Amanda will come?

Your sins are mine and like God, neither of us care...

As we sit on the deck, him shaking, I see a bald spot, where there was once, long blond hair...

He knows I see...

And as tiny tears fall, I nudge him and nod...we smile together as he looks and sees his old soccer ball...

He once ran down a muddy field, hair pulled back, during our favorite time ...fall...

Don't worry son, it will come back and be long again...

Your broken now, but like me, you'll mend...