I feel it all the time.
Even when you think I’m happy.
Even when I am happier.
Even when I’m with you.
Because it doesn’t discriminate.
It does not care that I have 3 children that I love.
Because it tells me they are better off.
It does not care that there are moments where I don’t want to leave anymore.
Because they are short lived, always shadowed by something darker.
Something real.
As real as a hungry lion chasing an antelope.
Ferociously tearing it apart.
Limb by limb.
Sinking its sharp teeth in with a smirk so sinister is scares the demons inside.
But oh, how it excites them.
And after all this time, I am still just an antelope.
I am the broken, torn apart, scraps of what’s left after everyone is done feeding off of it.
I am the carcass.
The skeletal remains of who I once was.
Or who I could have been but failed to be.
In a different world I would be a lion.
In a perfect world we would all be antelope.
In my world it is always dusk.
Never sunny, never pitch black.
There is enough light for me to know it exists but not enough to see clearly.
It always rains.
Everything is muddy, dirty.
It reeks of wet dog.
When I listen long enough I can hear all the words he said to me.
Over and over.
I can feel the way he hated me.
Over and over.
I crawl, not walk, into a cave.
It is there, alone, with my back against the cold, hard, stone that I close my eyes.
The owl sings outside.
I know that it knows, I am home.
And it is still with me.
Holding me tightly in strong arms.
Never losing its grasp on me.
And that’s why I wake up with salty tear stained cheeks.
And that’s why I hope I don’t.
But somehow I always do.
Wake up.
-
Author:
smileeshellyy (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 17th, 2020 13:21
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 34
Offline)
Comments5
Dark, sad and mysterious with a lot of depth. Easy to relate to. Good stuff!
Welcome to MPS a friendly place to let it all pour out.
This place workd best if we comment upon each others pieces and gradually we get to know a little about other poets and their styles.
Please feel free to rip into any of my pieces.
Thank you !
HI SHELLY - ANGELA HERE - I share this site with my Husband of 4 months - Welcome to MPS - thanks for your first Poem ! I trust it is NOT autobiographical as it would belie both your picture & your name ! It is written in a challenging style enabling us to *Read between the lines !* which are the lines in BOLD. The lines (not in BOLD) presnt a picture of how it might have been ? Loved every line - a very poignant poem ! It does not ring a bell with Brian & I we are still on our HONEYMOON ! More poems please - please visit our SITE - Thanks A & B
Love - Joy & Peace
Angela & Brian 💛💛💛
Thank you. It IS autobiographal.. Ive used this username since i was a child on social media platforms. perhaps i should change it to something more fitting. thank you for your feedback i will be checking your page out soon!
A wonderful emotive write, you will always wake up in your life as your love for your children will keep you alive.
Welcome to MPS.
Andy
always seems to keep me going... thank you
A piece of work that does not fail to move. May that rain from the pain disappear and let in much needed light in a soul that richly deserves it.
appreciate your words so much
beautiful in its artistic ambition while exploding with raw untameable emotion from line to line,
I like how, what seemed like two voices eventually merged into a consensus of the same awareness,
'In a different world I would be a lion.
In a perfect world we would all be antelope.
In my world it is always dusk.
Never sunny, never pitch black.'
quite possibly my favorite part of the poem 🙂
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