dusk arising

wild horses

 

 


i should have told you
there was nobody
.     ever...
.        ....like you

i wanted to
run after you
but instead....

.     time ran out.....
.           ......on me

but I can't hide
you
...from my mind

they stole me away
with promises and lights
wild horses....
.           ....fortune

and empty, empty houses
filled with you.....

.            .....and time

.                  I should have run after you.

Comments7

  • Goldfinch60

    May that time come back d a and she runs back to you.

    Andy

    • dusk arising

      No. This was written from imagination only. I always try to enter an appropriate mind set when writing lest my words should come across as bland. Yes there have been regrets of failed romance for me but nothing haunts me with regrets in the way described in my post today.

      • Goldfinch60

        Glad about that d a.

        Andy

      • orchidee

        Good write dusk.

        • dusk arising

          Thank you Orchidee. May wild horses never trample you.

        • L. B. Mek

          anyone who ever wished they had tried 'just one more time' with a significant someone, can't help but relate to this words,
          liked the distance in some of your lines, forces people to dwell on your words and thus reawaken their own dormant feelings they buried without confronting

          • dusk arising

            Thank you so much. I am pleased you saw the reason for the spacing layout.... putting pace into a piece is so difficult.... it almost requires stage direction i.e. pause here for effect LOL

          • Romantic Bloom

            Excellent formatting!

            I never let anything slip away
            I ran like a horse in the winds
            Chased rainbows each day
            Whispered sweet nothings
            It was time who passed my way

            • dusk arising

              Yes, thankfully this piece is a pure fiction. It must be awful to live with such regret and unable to move on.

            • Neville


              If there was a section for passion, love and regret... and prizes awarded... this would not remain unclassified for long... classy and classic DA and gold standard ... Nastrave 🍷👍

              • dusk arising

                I have been heavily influenced by the layout you use so often. My short line work is definitely a result of reading your pieces over time. I thank you for that... it's enabled me to do things with much more drama.
                It's a shame to see that many poets on here do not read other peoples work where they could gain so much technique to aid self expression. I openly encourage it.
                Thanks for your encouraging words Neville.

              • Fay Slimm.

                Some of your phrasing in this poem D.A. will ring true to many a heart - - - for me the phrase "but I can't hide
                you
                ...from my mind" is creative and so inspiring and that is just one to remember - into my faves with this one for sure.

                • dusk arising

                  Thank you Fay. I'm honoured to have a piece taken into the fav's of a poet i admire here on MPS.

                  I tried to put some drama into this with spacing hoping that that would create pauses in the reading. I'm not completely satisfied with the result but it seems to have been a move along the lines I had hoped for.

                • MelissaJA

                  Very relatable piece. I feel like everyone has, at least for a moment, wished to go back and change something.

                  • dusk arising

                    I know that i have 'been there' for short periods of my time and thankfully been able to move on. In writing this i took myself back to those times and buried myself deeper in the melancholy. Thank you for your comment here.



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